The Munchausen Affect

they don't make them like they used too

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superhero diaries: spiderman

Peter Parker: entry 14

Guess who needed saving today. Angelina Jolie. Apparently some turban wearing motherfuckers didn’t take too kindly of hearing she was about to adopt a kid from Afghanistan. They called her a child collector. Ouch. I think that made her cry or atleast pretend too because she looked just like she did in that movie Changeling, terrible. But other then the questionable crying she was quite nice, a little odd, but nice. If you ask me she’s got some similarities with Clark’s strangely depressed ass and when you really look at her, like really look at her, she does sort of have this alien-esque head shape going on. Plus who kisses their brother, fucks Billy Bob Thornton, then goes and adopts a kid from each continent. That’s definitely shaky behavior at its best.  

Filed under superhero diaries spiderman journals

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superhero diaries: ironman

Tony Starks: entry 14

A homeless man asked me for change today. I wear a giant metal suit where are the fucking pockets supposed to be. I looked at him and said “you’ve got to be kidding me.” He responded with, “can’t hurt to ask” no it can’t but it’s dumb ass shit too. I never thought it would be too much to ask for even homeless people to have common sense. I guess you got to buy that like everything else these days. 

Filed under superhero diaries ironman journals

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superhero diaries: batman

Bruce Wayne: entry 14

I’ve been doing some serious thinking today and I’m pretty sure Clark would have been considered fucking retarded on his planet. Because that guy does some of the dumbest shit you could imagine, and I’m talking helmet wearing retarded. But all things considered he works with flat out morons. You’re telling me a thin pair of glasses can really trick you, seriously, you don’t know he’s fucking Superman. Un-fucking-believable. Idiots. Plain and Simple. 

Filed under superhero diaries batman journals

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superhero diaries: superman

Clark Kent: entry 14

Peter says I might suffer from depression. Bruce says I’m a dumbass alcoholic who just needs to save the world and shut up. Tony says I just need to get some pussy. I’m not sure what to believe all I know is I feel shitty most of the time and smoking and drinking help with that. But nothing really helps with the whole Lois situation the bitch has become annoying, nagging and prude. Tony and Bruce call it the natural progression in a relationship but this natural progression sucks. I rather preferred the one when she didn’t complain so much and we spent most of our time naked and sweating.

Filed under superhero diaries superman journals

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Tom: Finally, a chance to talk. I know I’m probably not your type but they say opposites attract. All I want is a chance, just one little chance. 
Jerry: This was the only way for me to get him off my back. I just don’t have the heart to tell him I’m not gay. Yet. The free cheese is a nice bonus though.

Tom: Finally, a chance to talk. I know I’m probably not your type but they say opposites attract. All I want is a chance, just one little chance.

Jerry: This was the only way for me to get him off my back. I just don’t have the heart to tell him I’m not gay. Yet. The free cheese is a nice bonus though.

Filed under cartoon confessions

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Marvin: Nigga, what you say. Ima G, I’ll push your cap back.
Bugs Bunny: Like the letter G. I thought your name was Marvin with an M.
Marvin: G. Like gangster. Like the mafia.
Bugs Bunny: There’s a mafia in space?
Marvin: Aww. Fuck it, I’m holding a gun, be scared.
Bugs Bunny: Ok.

Marvin: Nigga, what you say. Ima G, I’ll push your cap back.

Bugs Bunny: Like the letter G. I thought your name was Marvin with an M.

Marvin: G. Like gangster. Like the mafia.

Bugs Bunny: There’s a mafia in space?

Marvin: Aww. Fuck it, I’m holding a gun, be scared.

Bugs Bunny: Ok.

Filed under cartoon confessions